Wtf. It's only 11.

I am currently sitting in my bed, still in my PJ's, still waking up. However, I've been sitting in my bed, still in my PJ's, waking up for about 10 minutes now. It always sucks to be woken up by the constant ringing of the telephone and the hollering of your 65 year old hard of hearing grandmother because even though we can hear her just fine, she thinks she needs to yell at us. Seriously. My door is closed, and I can hear her loud and clear. Not exactly my ideal wake-up call. [/rant]

I woke up this morning feeling very strange. Not quite happy, not quite scared, not quite stressed . . . just strange. Immediately, things started filling my head. Like the fact that I needed to go to Rite Aid and pick up mom's pills. And then right after that, 'well, since I'm up, showered and out, maybe I should go to Sears to get a passport holder' and then 'crap, I still need to call the bank about currency,' to 'this is so much money, and dad still hasn't ordered my battery for my laptop, wtf.'

And then, for some strange reason, I started thinking about everything that's still not finished around here. I've got an art piece that I wanted to finish weeks ago, but with work and trying to get all of my loose ends tied up, I never got around to finishing it. It's probably going to have to wait until I get back. Then there's the matter of my room. Most of my furniture is still sitting out in the garage, waiting for the final coat of spray paint. I have no clue when that's going to be happening, but dad promised he'd have it finished before I left (. . . time's running out, dad).

My room's a mess. My going-away projects aren't finished. I have four days left before I leave for NYC. I honestly have no idea how I feel right now. Groggy from waking up, clearly. My head hurts. Is it possible to stress in your sleep? I mean, I didn't have any strange dreams or anything, but maybe I was stressing about everything while I was sleeping, and that's why I feel so high strung right now. It's not like a panic attack, it's just, this constant feeling that it can't actually be happening. It all has seemed far too easy.

Why am I such a cynic, waiting for something to go wrong? I should be thankful, but I'm fearful that somewhere, some piece of paperwork isn't signed. That I'm going to get to JFK, or worse, Rome, and they're gonna look at me and say "Oh. Wait. You can't be here. You didn't finish this stateside."

I need to have a day to chill, away from my house, away from my family. Is it lame to go see a movie by yourself? I kinda want to. I don't even know. I'm freaking out, and I've only been up for an hour, if that. Maybe I need some yoga. Maybe.